Later, I reflected that my tone, out of awareness at time of utterance, was the element to which she was reacting as a feeling type, and that my insistence on staying on topic showed up in her experience as my controlling her. Such was my first conscious application of Beebe’s sobering formulation of the monster-in-play when our eighth function breathes fire at another’s dominant function.
Igniting the spark of opposites produced during conflict can provide an opportunity for holding the tensions between the one-sided attitudes. The process requires confronting and embracing the forces of unconscious qualities, along with holding the tension and uniting of opposing forces, in order for the full expression of an individual’s potential to be revealed.
The Judging functions influence how we pursue, record, and celebrate goals; but before any action toward a goal is taken, the Perceiving functions influence how we think and talk about them. Goal setting boils down to how different types orient to time, and how people are mentally present varies considerably depending on their preferences for gathering information.
People of different types are prone to think about religion and spirituality in different ways. While type obviously does not determine a person’s religious beliefs, type is a lens through which one views the world of religion and spirituality, and as a result, contentious religious differences are often, in part, typological differences in disguise.
Husbands and wives frequently feel like their marriages broke down because their spouses didn’t hear what they were saying. Therefore, the mediator’s ability to see and hear what each party is saying, and to reframe it so that the other party can see and hear it, can make or break their ability to reach a settlement.
These at-risk students taught us how to teach everyone. I have described my classroom set-up as an integral part of the instruction. … Intuitively, before knowing about type, I had set up my classroom to accommodate multiple learning styles. Even the ISTJ students, who tend to like the traditional classroom set-up, performed better in my classroom.
While Anna’s direct communication style seems natural to a German or someone with STJ/NTJ preferences, in Korea it would offend. The Korean communication style is indirect and high context; the message is often communicated through other means than the actual word. Body language, tone of voice, hierarchical position, meeting location, personal history …
I went back to the thing that seemed to make no sense. I asked Matt why he thought he became anxious coming home from work but did not experience this fear on his way into work? I had spent the hour prior to my session with Matt going through notes of other therapies with other ENTJs, but nothing in this other work had seemed particularly germane.